Kathleen Lynam from Tennessee

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My Ugly Necklace

by

Saddam Hussein

I thought I'd submit
This necklace to you
I've hidden all the weapons
There's nothing to do.

But I think it's pretty
Not ugly at all --
Won't it look great with
Some pumps and a shawl?

But never mind that
Let's focus on this,
Ah beading with bullets
The ultimate bliss!

How did I do it?
You peons may ask.
Let me assure you
It was no easy task.

Nuclear weapons were
Too large to string,
And dirty bombs needed
Too many O-rings.

So I took some bullets
A grenade or two
Strung them together
And then I just knew,

It needed some color
But what color would do?
I shot the last person
Who wore baby blue.

Then I thought of my country
Oh joyous Iraq!
And I chose for my palette
The color of black.

Then purple and orange
Like some giant, great bruise
Or the sparkling sputter
Of a newly lit fuse.

And green was always
A favorite of mine
The color sickness
Of poison
Strychnine.

I had a few skulls
I decided to use
Some relatives, I think
Who ceased to amuse.

Hearts that were broken
Are placed here and there,
Teardrops to remind you
That I simply don't care.

My face and my name
Why I needn't explain,
But I ask you dear judges,
Do I look insane?

And lastly some thorns
As spacers will do,
Now my necklace is waiting
To Bedazzle you.

So there you have it
I'm sure you'll agree
The prize and the glory
Should go all to me. (or else). (BOOM).