Gay Tracy and Maxine Farkas from Lowell, Massachusetts

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Oscar Night

T'was Oscar night
And waiting her turn
To walk the red carpet
Stood an actress named Ferne.

She was poor
And could not afford
Diamonds and rubies
With her man she was bored.

With him she knew
She could never go far
Because he made her
Smell like his cigar.

So she created her necklace
To catch all eyes
And help disguise
The size of her thighs.

Her centipede named Pete
Came along for the fest
His 10,000 feet
Sat right on her chest.

The dress by Mattel
Made her feel really swell
The clasp all took note
Resembled a coat.

The necklace so ugly
Was her only prize
We offer it to you
To try on for size.

List of Materials:

Gold plastic Mardi Gras beads
Doll fur coat and dress
Vintage button
*Cigar butt
shell
Pakistani coin
rubber centipede
various pieces of costume jewelry
macrame with plastic fern
miscellaneous beads
red ribbon lace

*We apologize for the odor of the cigar. We have worked hard to eliminate it (by dipping the cigar butt in varnish), but have only been partially successful. The odor does subside when the necklace is left in the open air.