The
Ugly Necklace Contest Some of the Fourth Annual 2006
Entries, Click
for: Summary of Adjusted Judges Scoring Criteria ABOUT
THE JEWELRY DESIGN CRITERIA USED TO EVALUATE THE ENTRIES IN
THE UGLY NECKLACE CONTEST - It Ain't Easy Doing Ugly,
or as my momma says, "Ugly is as Ugly does." - Principles of Composition by Warren Feld Can you do better? -- Submit your entry to this year's contest JOIN
our On-Line
Forum |
Julia Vogl, Oberlin, OH
via Washington, DC
WINNER
Details
To Do List
1. Pass classes
2. Eat Food
3. Get sleep Sometime
4. Stay away from the booze
5. Submit ugly necklace
6. Graduate on time
7. Figure out future
8. Learn not to be stressed out
Clasp Assembly: Tea strainer clamps over tea bag
Adjusted Judges Score: 7 out of 7
Hillary Schmeichel, Long Beach, California
RUNNER-UP
Details
Break Up Haiku
you're driving me nutsat one time you had me hooked
shame, your crusty butt!
Clasp Assembly: S-Hook and Washer at front base of necklace
Adjusted Judges Score: 7 out of 7
Tamara Allison, Primm Springs, Tennessee
Semi-Finalist
Details
Ill Intent
Stop!
Withered rose, cracked and broken,
Laid aside.
Perhaps it is a dream forgotten
Whisked away by broken cords,
Continues to decay.
Stop!
sharply stinging wrath,
Painful memories.
Devil's claws block the path
Among a bed of pinecones,
With reflectors red as blood.
She must have been a beauty,
He a ruthless man.
Clasp Assembly: A nylon bead cord loop slips over
the dried dead rose as a
button toggle
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
Nancy Barnes, Warren, Ohio
Semi-Finalist
Details
A Beachin' Bead Tale
As I walked along the beach,
My lover hopped beyond my reach.
Perhaps a stolen kiss was greed,
That cowboy prince became a bead!
Now Bronco Frog keeps
trapping flies,
My heart snagged in his net of lies.
Duckies laugh, my bell won't ding,
How can I ever wear his ring?
Clasp Assembly: Kilt Safety Pin
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
LYNN
MARGARET DAVY
from
Colehill, Wimborne
Dorset, United Kingdom
Semi-Finalist
Details
Candy Girl
To the tune of "The Ugly Duckling"
(Sorry if this has been done before, but I couldn't resist it!)
There
once was an Ugly Necklace,
A portrait in pretty pale pink,
But in ev'ry place, attached to her face
Was stuff that made you think:
'Girl -- You're fat -- your diet's crap-- you're gross -- you suck -- you stink!'
How she tries, how she cries, as another button flies
Off and makes the poor girl's heart sink! ......
Clasp Assembly: Button Clasp
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
SARAH
FEINGOLD
from
Rochester,
New York
Semi-Finalist
Details
News?
There once was a girl in a play.
With dreams of getting famous one day.
As the curtain came down,
A film crew came 'round.
And followed her family at bay.
There
once was a girl on TV.
All the world wanted to see.
Her loves, clothes, and hair,
The world seemed to care.
From the grasp she could never get free. ....
Clasp Assembly: Embedded wire into Designer Fabric
belt
on one side, and the Laminated Star Magazine
subscription card, on the other
to create a Hook & Eye Clasp
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
CYNDI
LAVIN
from
Ayer,
Massachusetts
Semi-Finalist
Details
Queasy
There once was an old beader chick
Whose designs just never did click.
She glanced down and heaved
In a voice most bereaved, said,
" I told you my work makes me sick!"
Clasp Assembly: Button clasp
made from a loop of yarn
and a car air freshener in the shape of
a pine tree.
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
PAULA
PAPP MARTINI, RN
from
West Hempstead,
New York
Semi-Finalist
Details
Nurses are Curses........
I worked
the graveyard shift last night -- my god, were there some sights!
I had a constant stream of admissions - mostly old, with chronic conditions.
My
patients are sleeping, medicated in beds, visions of stool softeners
dancing in their heads.
We in our scrubs, and they in their gowns -- fashions created to hide extra
pounds.
Nurses
are curses, they often appear from a pain in the head, to a pain in
the rear.
We come when you call, as fast as we can-- scurrying down the hallway with
needle in hand.. .....
Clasp Assembly:The necklace is strung on IV tubing.
The IV flow regulartor is the clasp. It has a small wheel which, when rolled
all the way up releases the IV tubing, just like a clasp.
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
MAGGIE
OLLOVE
from Oberlin, Ohio
via Baltimore, Maryland
Semi-Finalist
Details
Art Student
Crackle, crackle, spray spray,
Shake and oozee that paint
Wrap it up and squeeze it out
Protect your skin, and
lungs
Engage in the process
Deadlines, screw them, have fun!
Clasp Assembly: Stain glass spray paint bottle and cap.
Needs screw driver to pry cap off.
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
EMILY
PERILLO
from
Buffalo,
New York
Semi-Finalist
Details
FIASCO
A girl with
big dreams is born.
She learns to love everything that comes her way,
She wants to be a star on the stage,
She loves to dance and make "decent" beads.
She has a fetish for shoes but you probably can't see,
She is an animal lover and has a warmth towards the sea,
But her fears make it hard to find what to be.
" Never good enough,
I always come in third,
How am I going to get my voice heard?"
She dreams and she dreams but they never come true.
So keep your head up girl,
You'll get there soon.
Clasp Assembly: Safety Pin and Paper Clip
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
VIRGINIA BECKUS
from Clinton, Montana
EXQUISITE?
Am I not a thing of beauty?
Around your neck, I've got a duty.
What of this, some Tom Foolery?
I'm an exquisite type of jewelry.
I know not where this all leads,
But, don't I have some fancy beads?
Clasp Assembly:
No clasp
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
Farress Crombe
from Rochester, New York
Night Eyes
Twists, turns, pealrs, spirals, and flowers
It seemed my creation was taking hours.
I studied and read to design like David Chat
'Cause I knew my necklace couldn't be flat.
The color wheel said, "Blue, Green, and Pink would match",
But my friends said, "No! Your shades clash."
So I added sunglasses to correct the hue,
And a pair of eyes to look for a softer blue.
Hands down, this necklace is utterly ridiculous
Just to prove a point<
It's not a good idea to bead in the dark so late at night!
Clasp assembly:
Sunglasses hook/eye clasp
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
Laura Cuplin
from Lakewood, Colorado
GODDESS NECKLACE HAIKU
Pull tabs of fertility
Necklace takes a troll
On Goddessness abounding
Clasp Assembly:
Safety Pin and Soda Can Tab
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
Tracey Dooling
from Batavia, New York
Haiku
Dirty heavy weak
jagged metals will not be
useful adornment
(Note the sharp edges of the pieces, particularly at the neckline.)
Clasp Assembly:
Padlock
Adjusted Judges Score: 3 out of 7
Christie Harris
from Wallingford, Vermont
"Buttugly"
Ugly is in the eye of the beholder
And I figure it's up to me to shoulder
The investigation of "arse" in this contest of farce,
So I've searched Vermont over and over.
And here's my conculsion, let there be no confusion.
I've gone over and round, and unequivocally found
That "butt ugly"
is the ass end of my hound!
Clasp Assembly: Lanyard clasp on dog collar
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
Susan Jones
from Bellville, Texas
"Don't Tell Texas About The Elephant In The Room"
Thre Chicks from Texas hailed
Who san their songs around the world.
With voices like Angels, and musical skills
They were loved and cheered for many years.
But the times were surely fretful
And the Chicks said something dreadful
About the President of the USA
And scared US Citizens, naturally, took it in the worst way.
....The Elephant in the Room still has the stage,
So the Chicks still have time to learn to behave.
But again, with the coming election, times are changing.
So let's see next year how it's hanging.
Clasp Assembly : Lobster Claw
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
Ozan Kayalioglu
from Milford, Connecticut
My Bead Garden
This is my necklace
Put it on fearless
It has green and pink beads
Like a garden of flower it seems.
Clasp Assembly:
Lobster claw
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
