The
Ugly Necklace Contest Some of the Fourth Annual 2006
Entries, Click
for: Summary of Adjusted Judges Scoring Criteria ABOUT
THE JEWELRY DESIGN CRITERIA USED TO EVALUATE THE ENTRIES IN
THE UGLY NECKLACE CONTEST - It Ain't Easy Doing Ugly,
or as my momma says, "Ugly is as Ugly does." - Principles of Composition by Warren Feld Can you do better? -- Submit your entry to this year's contest JOIN
our On-Line
Forum |
Sarah Feingold
from
Rochester,
New York
WinnerLeftovers
When sea shells and plastic become less than glass beads and pearls,
out emerges a woman, where once was a girl.Candy jewels no longer sparkle, shards of glass no longer shine
with her easy-to-open take-out life and her materialistic mind.As beautiful childhood memories were once her way to be,
the remnants strung together is however, so ugly.
Clasp Assembly: Pink plastic lanyard clasp and soda can tab.
Very long beaded back-drop ending with banana.
Dollar Value: $150.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 7 out of 7Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
Janine Dunklebarger
from
Manteo,
North Carolina
Runner-Up
Is Barbie Greater Than The Sum Of Her Parts?
Mattel had delusions of grandeur,
The impossible dimensions girls try to attain.
As much as we control the doll's movements,
To strive is to be left with disdain.We dress them up like we wish we could dress ourselves,
In an attempt to feel princess-like beauty.
But no matter how many mini-outfits we collect,
It is still an exercise in futility.
Clasp Assembly: Arm fits through hole in Torso
to form a hook & eye clasp
Dollar Value: $150.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 7 out of 7
Laura
Moore
from
Knoxville,
Tennessee
Semi-Finalist
Cleopatra Gone Techno
Cleopatra please forgive me
it was a vision only I could see
a stunning collar for a queen
it's beauty lacking and lean
no gold here, only faux brass
without a close look, maybe it'll pass
it is partially covered with cheap plastic wire
no need to fuss the situation's not dire
for to distract from the wire there are jewels so bright
even though they don't look quite right
and let's not forget the royal decree
a declaration that's as cheesy as can be
all that glitters may not be gold
but my, it is a sight to behold
besides with a place to store eye liner
nothing in the world could be finer
Clasp Assembly: electronic couplers
Dollar Value: $25.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
Michelle
Geschke
from
Springfield,
Oregon
Semi-Finalist
Recycle Your Trash
Refusing to sort, recycle or compost
the trash piles up to the sky...
well, almost.
Plastic, styrofoam, bottlecaps
and more
higher and higher the piles they soar.
How will we save it,
this home we call Earth?
Re-think how we use things,
in the trash find some worth.
While this necklace is repulsive,
it's message is deep
Litter is Ugly...
real materials aren't cheap!
Clasp Assembly: Dog Tag and Plastic Soda Bottle Ring
As a toggle clasp
Dollar Value: $992.93
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
Leslie
Shattuck
from
Newport Beach,
California
Semi-Finalist
The Good, the Bad, and the UGLY
Found along the seashore
Amidst the ocean's roar
Were all these items lying in the sand
Only to fall into my searching hands
On one side we have Mother
Nature's best
And on the other side man made trash in a nest
Of tangled nylon twine
Oh how my heart did whine
When I found the worst yet
A lid from a UN Box 0303
Marked with smokeless Grenades
All for free
It did lie
Amongst the kelp,
sand crabs and sea urchin tests
Just as comfortable as all the rest
Oh what a world we must
measure
When man's weapons become one
Of Nature's treasures!!!
Clasp Assembly: Western Grebe Skull on Bamboo
caught in plastic ring holder for a
size pack of soda cans,
thus forming a toggle clasp.
Dollar Value: Priceless
Adjusted Judges Score: 6 out of 7
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
J.Z.
Edwards
from
Ann Arbor,
Michigan
Runner-Up
(Expletive Deleted) Choker:
Heart Broken
A loved one lost.
Slowly, slowly, breathing becomes impossible.
No metaphor.
Breathing becomes impossible.
Trying...and quitting...
Trying...and qutting...
OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER...UNTIL...
BREATHING BECOMES IMPOSSIBLE.
...and they are gone...and we are devastated.
Clasp Assembly: Damaged Band Aid (clasping necklace together)
is visible holding variegated loose ends of yarn on
which butts are strung.
Dollar Value: None whatsoever
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
"This necklace is SO UGLY, that...I constructed it while wearing rubber gloves,...out of doors,...at night! And,...I keep it in a sealed plastic container under a bench on the porch! -- J.Z.
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
Lisa
Matthews
from
Eugene,
Oregon
Semi-Finalist
GRUELRY
Esmerelda Griselda McMaggot O'Toole
Was known far and wide for her Vile Varmint Gruel
The recipe came from her dear mother's mudder
and had to be cooked in a moldy cow's udder.
The recipe called for some
frightening things
Like bug legs and frog parts and dragonfly wings
The hair of a spider and ooze from a newt
Some seaweed and moss bits and snake drool to boot.
Then grasshopper juice and
a beetle's old shell
It all went in the pot and got mixed very well
She seasoned it all with some nose hairs and pus
And topped it all off with a light flaky crust.
Old Ezzie was famous, and
so was her stew
and many folks came for a bowl and some brew
But those poor hapless creatures she used in her gruel
Were tortured and injured, Esmerelda was cruel.
She pulled off their legs
and she poked out their eyes
She squished and she smashed them, ignoring their cries
But some critters remained after all her tomfoolery
So Ezzie decided to make some fine jewelry.
Clasp Assembly: Tail of scorpion
attaches into curled worm
Dollar Value: About $50.00 for all the supplies including
shipping costs. Retail value is priceless.
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
Diana
Lambert
from
Bland,
Virginia
Semi-Finalist
Elusive Success
Ideas are easy
They arrive at will
Results make me queasy
They imitate swill.
I dream up designs
They flow like a stream
But when brought to fruition
They loose all their steam.
These pieces and parts
From doomed apparitions
May as well become part
Of this noble tradition.
Clasp Assembly: Toggle Clasp
Dollar Value:
$30.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
Melodie
Ustich
from
Antioch,
Illinois
Semi-Finalist
Don't be UGLY
"Don't be UGLY..." My
grandma always said.
" Little girls are pretty, get those rocks out of your head."
" Mud and dirt and bugs, best left to the boys,
and tea cup sets and baby dolls, are what little girls enjoy."
Well I'm grown up now and
I've seen a lot
and here is what I've learned:
Ugly to me is different now,
it can mean broken, smashed or burned.
It is jealousy and envy,
it is greed and war and sin,
hate and death and -- I was homeless once
so where do I begin?
To decorate or be ornate
and be true to this rhyme
helped me think of how I could describe
a once most difficult time.
Clasp Assembly: The popsicle stick hooks
into the washer.
Dollar Value: Squat = not much
(ok how about $5.00?)
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
Go Vote and Evalute This Necklace!
Lisa
Mallette
from
Fort White,
Florida
Semi-Finalist
In Loving Memory
Miss Kitty-Cat, why did you go?
Your time on earth was just so-so
in terms of length, because, you see,
there is no more of Miss Kitty.
If only she'd not been
alone
while choking on that chicken bone
The Reaper, cruel and darkly grim
took Miss Kitty home with him.
But in my heart, she's
always there
within this necklace that I wear
It's made with all her favorite stuff
to comfort me when times are rough.
Clasp Assembly: Vinyl lacing tied into a knot
Dollar Value: I have been assured, is easily worth $4.50, not that I
would sell it for any price.
Adjusted Judges Score: 5 out of 7
"I was referred to you by several of my friends, who have long been admirers of my beautiful handmade Memory Necklace, which I created to honor my dear departed Miss Kitty-Cat. A victim of curiosity, carelessness and Colonel Sanders, Miss Kitty left me with a broken heart and a budding design talent. Inspired by angst and the desire to achieve artistic excellence, I began to study in depth the instructive writings of master jewelry artists (in particular, Jewelry Design for Dummies by Sally Mareno) and was soon confident enough to tackle what many have lauded as the definitive Ode to Miss Kitty. Clearly my latent design skills are considerable; no one who sees this incredible necklace can believe it is in fact my first effort."
-- Lisa
Holly West, Manns Harbor, North Carolina
An Ode For The Frog
It seems that no matter what I want to be.
I have to study biology.
The books and labs, they
seemed alright
But cutting frogs made me uptight.
Scalpels, forceps, goggles, gloves,
Pins, scissors; and a probe.
All lying on the tray.
Do I really have to do this today?
Poor little froggie, pithed and flayed,
waiting for the scalpels.
I take my tools and wonder, "Why?"
with frogs it's an education;
While with people it's called flagellation.
Clasp Assembly: Beadalon elastic loop and button piece
Dollar Value: $200.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
Cheryl D. Wilson, Cherry Hill, New Jersey
For All The Dogs I've Loved Before
How much are those doggies in the window?
Guess the price of my heart and you'd still be low
I've gathered their things and made a chain
In hopes that my memory will never wane
The strings from your favorite tug of war toy
The green fuzzy ball that brought so much joy
But who are these pups that I hold so dear?
Some may have faded but my thoughts are still clear
There's Heimrich, the Schnauzer, who thought he was boss
And Peanut the Poodle -- perpetually cross
Deena would sprint and jump over the fence
And Spanky, the Basset, adored every scent
Shotze chased golf balls and swallowed them whole
And Nybras, my piggy, who worships his bowl
Princess Kali who reigns supreme in the house
And Cyrano, the lover, with his tongue he would douse
Buffy the Beagle dragged her butt on the floor
And Mitch who waits wiggling at the front door
And last but not least, my sweet Shooby-Doo
What keeps me close is the smell of your poo
Clasp Assembly: Stainless steel choke collar made into a lariat
Dollar Value: $15.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
Jerilynn Valente, Middlebury, Vermont
U Symbol of Beauty
I like Ugly
Yes I do, I do, I do
How 'bout you?
Do you like Ugly too?
I love Ugly
It's true, it's true, it's true
A Tad bit Ugly
For me is nothing new.
I adore Ugly!
I stir the Ugly Stew
When Ugly come a callin'
I say entrez vous.
You don't care for Ugly?
Maybe you're Afraid
Ugly's just a way of life
One that isn't staid
I dare you to go Ugly
Just one more thing to do
Then you can say to me
"Hey, that Ugly thing?,
Get away from me, U!"
I say, "Go Ugly".
Go Ugly all the way.
C'mon, give it a try,
Try "U" on today!
You'll look great in Ugly
Ugly's good on you!
Ugly wants to be your friend
Yes indeed it do.
Clasp Assembly: None, chain clips at top and necklace goes over head.
Dollar Value: not given
Adjusted Judges Score: 2 out of 7
Lillian Todaro, Redondo Beach, California
Turtle Pond
Our turtles at play during the day.
Sunning on rocks and logs in our back yard and never in the way.
In crystal blue waters nothing matters.
Fish take flight when turtles bite below.
Flowers all a glow.
Lady bugs land,
and on land a Lil bead hides in the reed beads.
Clasp Assembly: Hook and Eye clasp
Dollar Value: $250.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
Billie Sanchez, Flagstaff, Arizona
Beautiful Garbage
Once upon a time
My pieces were all parts of beautiful things
Toys that brought joy
Sparkles with shine
Doodads and bits
Now my parts are all broken
Bits of fluff and garbage
No longer someone's
Wonderful treasure
My pieces are my own
Just bits of junk and garbage
But to me they are beautiful
Beautiful Garbage
Clasp Assembly: S-Hook
Dollar Value: Priceless because I made it with my daughters. Value
of hardware and bits from my stash: About $10.00. Value I would sell
it for: $150.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 1 out of 7
Jennifer Prentice-Davis, Flushing, Michigan
One Fur is Much Like Another
Janie Smith was cute but plain,
unlike the girl next door
who wore bright clothes and satin lips
and furs that trailed the floor.
Janie longed to have a fur
and be like her lovely neighbor
but since she had no money
she knew she'd have to labor.
Now, the neighbor also had a cat
that followed Janie around
batting at her frumpy clothes
and making hissing sounds.
The neighbor and her ktty
were driving Janie mad
until one day she hatched a plan
which made her feel quite glad.
She thought, "one fur's much like another,
and mine will be deivine!
Now other women will envy me
for my stunning one-of-a-kind!"
All that night she sutffed and stitched,
working straight until the dawn
and when she finished she just had to go out
with her very own furs on.
All the ladies in the town
stared as she walked by.
Janie thought they were all quite jealous
and held her head up hight.
She stroked her fur and raised up her nose
as she strut about all day,
and she walked right by her neighbor
who fainted dead away.
Clasp assembly: Hook and eye closure sewn into felted material
Dollar Value: $20.00 (excluding labor)
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
Dagny Sellorin, Silver City, New Mexico
Ode to Ugly
"Less is more" I was always told
But all I see is "more is more."
What wins the prize
Stays in the public's eye
Must surely weigh ten pounds or more.
So, I went for gross weight, bad colors,
Patterns and shapes -- throw in an attitude!
Yes, I even got rude. I broke all the
Rules, felt like a fool. But had a hell of
A good time on the way.
P.S. A poet I'm not.
You really put me on the spot.
So you get what you got!
Clasp Assembly: Hook & Eye Clasp
Dollar Value: $500.00
Adjusted Judges Score: 4 out of 7
This necklace sports a moveable part in the center. The balls and penis pendant can be raised to the "salute" position, by pulling on the drain chain.
